Monday, August 16, 2010

How to speak Chav?

assband - as in ''Am assband'', ''I am confined to the house''.



awss - a four-legged animal on which money is won or lost



blinding - excellent, as in ''West Am are blinding''



bruvver - male sibling (or Mitchell).



cort a panda - quarter pound hamburger.



cach - sofa, settee.



caf - daytime eating house.



dan ill - a) in the direction of the bottom of an incline, b) decline,



ie.''Kat from EastEnders gone a bit dan ill lately.''



donut - idiot.



eassband - as in ''Eassband, mate'' (instructions to cabbie to take Essexman in an easterly direction).



effix - moral principles.



fanx - an expression of gratitude.



fink - ponder.



Furrock - where to find the Lakeside Shopping Centre.



gaff - house or home.



garrij - the motah's gaff



Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island.



innit - a) is it not? A superfluous suffix, as in: ''I'm goana Saffend,



innit.''



jacks - 拢5 note.



janartamean - do you know what I mean?



kebab - meat meal (for when you have the munchies).



lame - of poor quality or taste. For emphasis use ''well lame''.



larf - laugh, as in: ''You're avin a larf'' - you cannot be serious.



minger - an unattractive person, usually female.



motah - car (generic); usually Ford Fiesta.



mullered - (also trolleyed, bladdered) very, very drunk.

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